A high elf, a wood elf and a dark elf walked into a bar. The place is a wonder of natural beauty, a small bonsai tree on every table shaped over centuries as each generation tends them from the very first to open shop.
The high elf begins bragging about his magical prowess and, unable to hold his liquor, accidentally sets the bar on fire trying to impress.
“The beauty of the ages!” He cries, “we have to save the legendary horticulture!”
“Fuck the trees!” Shouts the drow as he heads for the door.
The wood elf pauses and asks “yes, but do we have time?”
...
What do you call a famous elf singer?
Elvish Presley!
...
The dwarven kingdom of Strike The Earth and the elven kingdom of Hug The Trees have been at war for several generations, to the point neither remembers the reason why the war started, just endless slaughter. Everything changed when the fire nation demons attacked. An invasion force so brutal, so violent, that the two warring kingdom decided to put the hostility to the side and face the common threat.
An adventuring party of the best, most brilliant adventurers of both nation got tasked to do the impossible: find a legendary ring of three wishes, that in a prophetic dream was shown as the only way to stop the invasion. After a long and dangerous adventure, the two races managed to find the ring, and thus they decided to use the first wish to deal with the invasion, and then each kingdom would use their wish to better their life.
So, invasion forces stopped, the high king of the elf wears the ring and says "I wish for my kingdom to move to a valley, surrounded by the tallest mountains, making a complete wall around it, mountains unable to be climbed over nor dug through, for my people to never suffer the dwarves anymore". And the wish gets granted, and only one gem remains on the ring, one last wish to be granted. The dwarven high thane grabs it, thinks for a second and "oi ring, that huge bowl the elves made with their mountains... Fill it with water to the brim"
...
3 elves walk in a bar. One starts to hug the wooden interior, one stands high up on the bar and the last one stands in the darkest corner and glares... The other guest es look at them and then at the dwarven Barkeeper and ask:"You not gonna stop them?" The Barkeeper just shrugs and says:"Nah, don't bother. If they leave they might come back and bring a blood elf and no one wants to see THAT!"